Hello! My name is Laura Williams, and I am the owner and founder of Crossway Coaching, LLC. I founded Crossway for one reason… to walk alongside women, like you, who are struggling with the presence of sexual addiction in their relationships. Whether it’s your Sex Addiction or your partner’s, the road to healing and recovery is difficult, and sometimes lonely. Few people truly understand what it feels like; fewer still are equipped to guide you along the twists and turns on the road to health. And this is where I come in.
I am a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) trained through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the ICF (International Coaching Federation). I have received over 350 hours in coach training and another 47 hours of training through the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy (AASAT), specific to treating sexual addicts and their partners.
More important than my formal training, however, is the fact that I understand the extraordinary and devastating effects that sexual addiction has had on you, your partner, your values, your self-image, and your relationship; as well as on your health and sense of well-being. It has likely shaken the very foundation of everything you trusted and thought was real in your relationship. And there is no way you could have prepared for it.
My strongest desire is to help other women travel this road in a more effective, more powerful way than most know how to accomplish on their own. Many couples flounder for years, going it alone, until they find real help and real strategies that work. I know the importance of having someone to talk to, someone who understands, who won’t judge, and who has a clearer, more objective understanding of addiction, as well as a long-range view of recovery and of what is possible.
To tell you a little more about myself, I have been an occupational therapist for 20+ years, helping people recover from physical injuries. I am the very proud mom of two smart, beautiful girls, ages 13 and 24. I’ve been married for 14 years to my best friend and my staunchest supporter. I enjoy reading, watching movies, connecting with my friends, board games, hiking, and more than anything else… family time.
To contact me or to schedule a free coaching session to explore what coaching can do for you, click here.
Crossway’s name was chosen during, of all things, a board game I was playing with my husband. The game was called Crossways. I had been rolling around ideas for a business name for a while, wavering between one and another. In my mind, there was always the concept of a path or a journey… I noticed the game’s box top. “Crossways… the path to victory is not always a straight line!” I looked at my husband and said “Crossways Coaching… the path to victory is never straight.” He liked it. And the name spoke to me, as well, for a number of reasons.
First, the path to recovery and healing really isn’t straight. It has twists, and turns, and intersections… upward climbs, and setbacks…
Second, I like that it has the word “cross” in it. While I work with Christians and non-Christians alike, my own strength, my ability to persevere through my own challenges in life and in marriage, come from my faith in God and my relationship with Christ.
Third, “crossway” is defined as a crossroad, an intersection, a junction, or a passage… and it’s at life’s crossways that decisions are made which will forever alter our course. It’s where the choices are made of who we want to be, what we want to stand for, and how we want to show up in life.
That is exactly what I want to help others do; thus Crossway Coaching was born!
I didn’t really find the logo and Tag-line. They found me.
Crossway’s logo is a tree. To me, trees are symbols of strength, growth, and resilience. With roots that run deep, keeping us grounded and nourished; stable trunks, enabling us to stand strong; and branches that keep us always reaching beyond our own limits … And within the tree, as within our name, stands the Cross.
I wracked my brain for a tag-line. For months. “tools for the journey…,” “beside you all the way,” came and went. And then, as I read through an article on addiction, three phrases seemed to literally pop off the page. They did not appear together, but as I wrote them down, I noticed that in succession, they described the path that I myself had taken in order to heal – and among them, I also saw my tree.
GAINING STABILITYPURSUING GROWTHRECLAIMING JOY
Recovery and healing begins here. How does one regain stability following the disclosure of a partner's Sex Addiction? How does an Sex Addict begin to develop a healthy lifestyle once their compulsive behaviors are ingrained, and they're facing the destruction such behaviors have caused. The very beginning of recovery and healing is not the time to make huge life decisions regarding relationships, divorce, jobs, or relocating.
It's about coping and having your needs met ...in healthy ways. Those of us who have been through the trauma of betrayal and those struggling with addiction who have hit "rock-bottom" know it can be a struggle to get through the basics of every day. Stress is at an all time high. Basic coping skills such as sleep, exercise, processing feelings, are made more difficult by fear, anger, confusion, and worry.
For the partner of a sex addict, you may feel your basic needs of safety and security are at risk, as you come to terms with a new understanding of reality. You're facing fears about your future - financial, family, health and relationship issues... Have I been exposed to disease? How will this impact me financially? How will it impact the children? What is real? What can I believe? Who can I trust?
As a Sex Addict, you may be involved in illegal behaviors, unsafe practices putting your and your partner's health and even your lives at risk. Perhaps you lost your job, or are at risk for losing your family, your reputation. Or maybe no one knows about your struggle and you're just at the end of your rope, emotionally and mentally. You're experiencing shame and feelings of low self-worth, and you just want to rid yourself of this burden.
Stability comes from getting a true sense of reality and getting a clear picture of what needs are at risk for going unmet, and putting a plan in place to meet them. Stability means achieving a sense of safety and security, regaining control over your thoughts and emotions, feeling sane and in control again. It's working through fear, suspicion, despair, and anger. It's a time to regroup and sort, and it helps to have someone to talk to who can see a bigger picture.
Once things have stabilized, there is still much to learn. Life after "rock-bottom" or after disclosure from a loved one is work. Hard work. The challenges of "relationship repair" or moving on alone, the process of recovery and healing, are really just beginning, but let me encourage you... it is well worth the effort.
Your best life is being created here and now. There are growing pains, but growth is a good thing. Growth comes through self-exploration, envisioning who want to be, and what we want our life to look like. It's the time to ask yourself "How do I want to show up?" and bring that self into being. It's not trying to become someone else. It's bringing out who you really are and having the courage to live as that person.
This begins by determining your values. What's important to you? How well are you living out those values? What gets in the way or makes it hard? What boundaries can you create to protect your values, and what can you do when these boundaries are violated? What do you like about yourself that you want to strengthen? What isn't working for you anymore? How do you help your partner while protecting yourself? How do you learn to rebuild trust in others and in your own instincts?
This stage of recovery and healing is marked by rebuilding. It's learning to rely on your instincts again, developing intuition, understanding where you end and others begin. It is understanding that we are each responsible TO one another and FOR ourselves, and it's learning the how and why of developing boundaries so that you never find yourself in these dark places again.
This stage is an exciting time, once you understand your path, because it's a wonderful opportunity to take restock of your life and to realize you can create any future you want. It's marked by...
Now is the time to celebrate all you've accomplished and the growth that's taken place. Your future will find you appreciating the past for what it is, while living in the present. Joy is not the absence of suffering. It is finding meaning and purpose in those trials, and coming out better on the other side. Now, instead of feeling as though you're drowning in despair, you can wallow in your sweet spots...
"Participating in an ELI debrief with Laura was a powerful experience. She helped me to see and explore areas where I really want to grow and to challenge myself to show up differently in my work and personal life each and every day. I now know what I need to focus on next. This new state of being conscious and aware of my energy is going to have a huge impact on my life."
"Laura was kind and compassionate during our session together and she provided me a space where I was able to freely share my thoughts and feelings on various topics. Laura conducted an ELI assessment and debrief for me and was able to help me gain great insight on some thoughts and beliefs that were holding me back. I would recommend Laura as a coach for anyone who is looking for a compassionate coach that can help them identify the stuff that is holding them back from living a truly remarkable life."
Sharon S, Metro DC area